I HATE Fancy Restaurants

In case you hadn’t figured it out by now, I HATE fancy restaurants. I was really tired and hungry today when I left the Jackson office so I went to a place near the hotel.

I knew I was screwed as soon as I walked in the place. There was a person whose job was just to place the cloth napkin on my lap and fill up my water over and over again.

The only thing I recognized (and that I would eat) on the menu was a Filet Mignon but even that came with something called ‘White Truffle Demi-Glace’. And alls I can say about that is WTF is that? So I told the waiter that I didn’t know if I liked that stuff so please put it on the side. Turns out it looked like gravy but….it was brown. And yet the description clearly said ‘White Truffle Demi-Glace’ so I know they were just messing with me.

And if only I had a mechanical engineer with me I could have figured out how to get salt out of the metal contraption on the table that looked like a men’s cologne bottle.

I’m here two more days so tomorrow I’ll be on the hunt for Waffle Houses and Micky D's.

The Spooky Parking Lot

So Jenna and I stopped by Kroger’s tonight on the way back from her doctor’s appointment. After working out really good three days in a row I needed a sugar binge to keep me in balance (thanks Pattye for that excuse). So we stopped and picked up some ice cream.

On a side note Ben and Jerry’s had ‘Steven Colbert’s Americone Dream’ so we had to get it. That and some Edy’s Rocky Road-and yes, Jenna and I sang the Weird Al classic ‘I Love Rocky Road’ at the checkout.

Anyway when we were done at Kroger’s we went out into the parking lot. It was dark but I hit the key chain and the headlights came on. We got right up to the car and Jen was about to open her door to get in and the car drove off. We totally freaked. It was a dark blue Impala, just like mine, which was parked one row over. We laughed ourselves sick on the way home.

Then we got home and overindulged in dairy products.

Drooling Jan-O

So after a few test runs Janet finally got her wisdom teeth pulled this week.
She and Eric pulled up at the dentist bright and early for the 8:00 appointment. Then they turned around and went home when they were told that it really wasn’t until 11:00. I guess Janet was just too excited about the upcoming extractions.

I had to go to my personal training session at the gym so afterwards I told Eric that I’d come take over for him sitting in the lobby at the dentists. When having a mouth job like that they require that you have an adult driver in the lobby at all times.

So I entered the waiting room where Eric sat with his cell phone and Steve Martin book (good choice by the way) and he left. About twelve seconds later they came out to announce that Janet was done. I escorted the nurse back and there was Janet. Swelled up, mouth full of gauze, vacuous eyes and blithering aimlessly. I listened to the instructions such as gargle with salt water, no straws etc. and then the wheeled Janet out in a wheel chair to my car.

The real highlight though was when I was going to help her into the house through the snow covered yard but she insisted she could walk….in fact, through her gauze filled mouth she insisted she could run and then she trotted off in extremely slow motion stumbling running steps.

But by yesterday she seemed just fine. Due, in no small part to her the servant we supplied her with from ‘Rent-A-Jen’.

These are a few of my favorite things....

A fluffy snowy day like today is a perfect time for me to reach up in the closet where I know I have a hidden treasure chest. It’s full of some of my favorite things on the whole planet.

When the kids were really little I used to hide their Easter Basket and make clues that they had to think through to find it. So, when they went on vacation with Norm and I really knew I was going to miss them Janet and Eric made me my own clues and games. Sometimes one for each day. I’ve kept them all.

There’s also a shopping list where Janet had written ‘Betty Crocker White Cake Mix’, Icing etc because she was making me a birthday cake. The cake is long gone but the thought is so cool.

And what would it be without post cards from Janet that she wrote on planes that, when turbulence hit she writes ‘This card may never get to you, this may be the last thing I ever write’.

I have a really huggy picture of me and Pattye that I love. As you know she has never been one for pictures or publicly expressing much so this is a gold mine for me.

And Eric’s picture in a Tiger Basketball frame. We were in a store once around Christmas and he got out of line with me and said that he’d meet me in the front in a few minutes. Well, he took his money and went back and bought this frame and cut out his school picture, put it in there and wrapped it up for me for Christmas. The best gift of all there was that he knew that he was loved so much that it would be a great present for me.

And there’s cards from Jenna from when I first moved to Houston and she was trying to comfort how homesick I was by telling me that if I think I’m going to cry I should watch Spongebob cause that helps her.

I also have a cool 1940 Superman trading card from my brother Jim.

So eat your heart out Louvre patrons, I’ve got the best stuff here.

Maybe I’m sentimental, maybe my hormones are out of whack but whatever, every now and then it’s a great day to look at this!

The Gym and Me

Well, I’ve been working out intensely for two months now. This Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday will be my two month mark with the Personal Trainer who really pushes me. Also I’ve been trying to diet good. (Atkins Diet).

So this Sunday I will compare where I am now to where I started out on December 7th, 2009. I know I’ve lost inches cause I can wear smaller clothes and button things that never buttoned before.

However I did warn them that if it doesn’t show that I lost weight, they’d better lie to me. Yes I know that muscle weighs more than fat, blah blah blah, but I don’t wanna hear it.

That all being said, somehow last night, after an especially rigorous workout I totally binged on three doughnuts and a double dip cone.

All right, today-back on the band wagon. Any day now I’ll be able to share clothes with Jenna.

Fright Flights

Well how creepy is the attempted attack on the flight to Detroit from Amsterdam? Update-and now another one.....

For someone who uses planes to go to work almost every week it’s very scary. Here’s a little tidbit that I’ve noticed over the last year-I’ll bet at least 85% of the flights that I’m on, the person in the window seat in the exit row is a dark skinned guy, by themselves, aged around 25 years old. Not being prejudiced, just noticing a fact.

I started noticing that awhile back because if I can’t get a seat near the front I always go for the exit rows because they’re roomier. And it didn’t take long to catch on to that demographic. Sometimes I’ll be sitting in the aisle seat in the exit row and watch the line of people coming on the plane. When I see a person who meets that description I know they will sit there and they usually do. And, for planes that are usually about 90% white or couples and families, this is even a stranger statistic. I’m going to start taking pictures now of them……I’ll pretend I’m getting a picture out the window.

Of course now I’m also worried that I’ll over react. Like, when one of them reaches for their bag of peanuts I’ll head butt them or something.

I know if I’m ever on a plane and something happens like that guy from Nigeria was planning, I’d want my kids to know how much I love them, that’s for sure, but I’d hope they know that anyway. No matter how old I get and they get, I still get a kick out of looking at them and talking to them. Yep, in the family area I really lucked out! But then again that’s another tangent.

The worst part of this story could be new rules for air travel. I mean, what if they really start limiting what you can bring on. What about all of the hair care products that I routinely travel with? And if there’s longer lines my occasional lack of patience, especially with early morning flights will exhibit itself even quicker.

And once again, not to appear biased, but if that TSA agent in Detroit who wears a turban puts me in the high security screening line again I’ll scream. Well, no I won’t cause that’ll just delay me even more.

So I guess I’ll just expect longer lines and less patience and try not to jump on someone on the plane for reaching for their MP3 player or something.

Creepy Nightmare

While I was in Indy this last week I had a horrible nightmare on Thursday night. It was about a huge fire in a party like scenario that started from the top and killed 112 young people. The worst was that in this nightmare I could feel the emotional pain of the families that had lost their kids. In my nightmare I could see the families sobbing uncontrolably, falling to their knees and I knew that there was nothing I could or say that would make their suffering any less. In the dream I could see the bodies and the smoke in the aftermath as people were digging through it trying to find things.

When I woke up it was a troubling nightmare that kind of bugged me all day-it was just so vivid.

So today Jenna and I were out running errands and I turned on CNN HLN on the XM Radio and heard about the fire in the Russian Nightclub. I was so freaked out about it I couldn't wait to tell people about the 'premonition'.

But now I can also sense how horrible the families across the world are feeling.

If I'm going dream things that come true I'd much rather dream that I won the lottery or something.